Harold Carr
Harold Carr
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home :: community :: 2003-10-22-pleasureGuiltWorkGrieving.html
Wed, 22 Oct 2003
The Pleasure and Guilt of Working While Grieving
At work, for the first time in two weeks, handling my tools gives me pleasure - old friends who know each other well. Working, focusing on the task at hand, life feels normal. Then, during any slight pause, it's right there: Craig is gone. Then I feel guilty for having forgotten for a moment, for having felt pleasure - guilty, I guess, for being alive.
Pleasure, focus, forgetting, guilt ... alternate throughout the day. The shock is subsiding, leaving a sad and confused heart.
Harold Carr
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